Thought Journal

I had some really wonderful and amazing teachers growing up. I had some lousy ones too. Or maybe those were just teachers I didn't click with. What I'm pretty sure about is that they all had the best of intentions, and mostly, they put their hearts into their work. I imagine that that isn't so easy when you're teaching adolescents...

While I excelled at math and science, and eventually received two engineering degrees, the teachers that made the biggest impact on me were my English and computer science teachers. OK, there was my eighth grade science teacher, and my high school ones too, and, well, I was fortunate to have a lot of truly inspired and inspiring teachers.

Way back around 1983 my elementary school librarian became the computer science teacher as well. I think she stayed about a week ahead of the class as we learned rudimentary programming. I don't even remember the language we used, but I remember I wrote a little program using some looping structure that displayed a sequence of screens made of asterisks so that it appeared a little like a figure doing jumping jacks.

Perhaps what I liked best about this librarian, and I didn't even realize this for another 20 years, was that she allowed me to take refuge in the library when I routinely skipped French class in eighth grade. I hated French class. And, somehow, despite spending at least one class per week (often more) reading the Encyclopedia of Science in the library, I did OK. I still don't understand what sort of decisions were made on my behalf to allow such flagrant truancy. Everyone knew I was in school on those days, I just skipped class and took shelter in the library. I didn't even try to hide. I am forever grateful for all those involved with looking the other way... including my dreaded French teacher.

It's fortunate that my high school computer science teacher was also a woman. She never did figure out how I managed to skip Intro to Computer Science and jump straight into Pascal. All I know is that my guidance counselor signed the paperwork... It was only an issue on the first test when I didn't know any of the names for the parts inside the computer. I still have only a sketchy understanding.

When I took AP computer science I was the only girl in the class, so it was nice to have some moral support. It hardly mattered by spring. I had proved myself their equal many times over and the small class had bonded so well that the boys in the class had forgotten I was any different. Until I wore a sundress one warm spring day.

But as I sit here now, my thoughts turn to two particular English teachers: Mrs. Metzger and Mrs. Nielsen. Sure I went to a great high school and had the immense pleasure of taking classes like Semiotics, but these two women were the ones who assigned Thought Journals. I think the journals were just to make us practice writing, but I loved filling page after page with my thoughts. The way they treated my often rambling thoughts with curiosity and respect made me feel valuable and heard. They were witnesses to my deepest thoughts, my eccentric ponderings and even my teen angst, all offered and received in the spirit of great and mutual trust.

I suppose this Blog of mine is actually just another Thought Journal, one that I have assigned to myself. Except I share this one, trustingly, with an unknown number of people, whom I may or may not even know. And it feels like in doing this I am valuing my thoughts, and becoming a curious and respectful witness to my own life.