You Spot It, You've Got It

How many times have I heard or read that phrase? It's always used as a reminder that when you're being judgmental about another you will likely find that same quality in yourself. And when I've paid attention to my thoughts, I have found this to be true. Sometimes painfully so. But I invariably learn something from that reflection that makes me a better person: more compassionate, more understanding, more connected.

So I was thinking the other day, why is this phrase only used for negative traits? I mean, isn't it as true for positive ones? If I recognize my negative traits in others, won't I also recognize my positive traits too? I've been trying this out as an experiment. When I think to myself "Isn't she just so clever" or smart or kind or a great listener or funny or whatever, I try to see that quality in myself. I get so tried of seeing just the reflection of my shadow in others.

This is a poem I wrote recently (or is it revised? as it's been stewing for some time now) as a birthday challenge for a dear friend. She demanded, in that loving way that a friend can, a poem for her birthday. And it was not to be sappy! This is what came out and it has nothing to do with birthdays (but I don't think that was a requirement), but it bubbled up in my consciousness as I was just writing:

Sunlight floods
the dwindling canopy
of autumn.
I am.
Illuminated.
Reflected.
My shadow
falls.
It too
is reflected.
Together
we dance.