Nature Escape

A three day getaway to the forests of New Hampshire was just what I needed. We took Dee Dee and Little Dudely along this time. Turns out it was just what they needed too. Pookie stayed home with Grammy & Poppa. I am relieved to report it was just what she needed too.

Pookie has special needs. (Don't we all? What a ridiculous euphemism.) More bluntly, she has a rare genetic disorder resulting in global delays among other things. She's non-verbal. She's not much of an outdoors person either, unless there is water to play in, a swing to be swung in or a jogger to be pushed in - none of which are real options in mid-November in NH when the temperatures hover around freezing and the wind is blowing. So she hung out with two loving grandparents and basked in more attention than usual.

The rest of us ventured "off-the-grid" to enjoy three days of hikes and exploring the National Forests in the White Mountains. This was the first time we had split up this way, and I struggled to even make the decision. Was it bad to leave Pookie home? Did it mean I didn't love her as much?

As we sat eating a relaxed dinner at Bellini's, a lovely Italian restaurant, I realized that this is what it was like to be a family with two typical kids. To everyone there, we were a complete, ordinary family. It was so simple. It was so easy. I wanted to cry.

The reality of the complexity of my life washed over me. It was a relief to finally acknowledge, to truly understand that what I do everyday is hard. And I wanted to cry. All day I had watched Dee Dee and Little Dudely explore nature - boulders, the river, ice, anything they could touch or climb on - with more freedom than they could imagine. They looked to be bursting with joy and curiosity. And I had never realized how much my insistence on including Pookie all the time had caged them.

Upon getting home and hearing of the wonderfully relaxing time Pookie had with Grammy & Poppa I realized the other side of my inclusion policy: I had been including Pookie in activities she wanted nothing to do with. She was happier warm at home with her favorite technologies. And her giggle when we arrived home... well, you don't know the sound of pure joy until you hear her laugh.