Bugglies

The dreaded bugglies attacked last weekend. There I was Embracing My Rant in an email to my coaching circle coach, bemoaning the feeling of being trapped by the circumstances of my life (read: my children). And, as usually happens when I Embrace My Rant, I discovered that my feeling of being trapped stemmed not from the circumstances of my life, but my thoughts about them. Specifically, my expectations of myself to be everything to everybody all the time, to make everything OK, were trapping me in my personal Pit of Despair.

Within hours of my rant, I was curled up on the couch feverish with aching joints. I gave up all ideas of what I was supposed to do beyond rest. No more being everything to everybody, I was in make-it-through-the-day mode. Dee Dee, Little Dudely and I watched The Princess Bride and ate grapes and pretzels for dinner. Pookie mucked about entertaining herself contentedly and requested cheese and banana bread for dinner. Worked for me.

Over the next few days I rediscovered the joys of music videos, computer solitaire and freecell, Sudoku (once my head cleared a bit) and generally doing nothing. Meals were basic, baths were by request only, no laundry was done, we went no where. Did I mention the 12" of snow that fell in there too? I rested as much as possible. Life went on.

Here's what I learned (or remembered):

• Never gamble. Even something as innocuous as Vegas-Solitaire is a sure way to lose lots of money fast.
  
• Solitaire is a wonderful nearly mindless game of mostly chance, but you're going to lose a lot.
• Freecell is always win-able making it a nice counterpart to Solitaire, but you better feel well enough to think at least a little bit.
• By the time you're well enough for hard and evil Sudoku you're pretty much through the worst of it.
• Music videos are as mezmerising as ever.
• There are a lot of videos I don't want my kids watching.
• Even ones I'll let them watch often take a lot of explaining.
• The Princess Bride is a great movie on many levels.
  
• Nothing bad happens when I drop all the "should"s in my life.
• There are a lot more "should"s in my life than I realized.
  
• Life is much easier when you stop pushing.
• My kids are awesome.
• My life is wonderful and only getting better.