The Seed

The seed
Will not grow
In isolation,
But it always
Listens to itself.

Spring

Ah... Spring is almost here. Well, unless you're playing Trival Pursuit. In that case Spring started on March 1st and runs through May 31st (that's a grudge I hold from long ago). But I look to the solar calendar: spring starts on the Vernal Equinox - March 20th this year. And while equinox is derived from equi, meaning equal, and nox, meaning night, suggesting that day and night are equal on the equinox, that isn't actually true. It's close, but not quite 12 hours between sunrise and sunset.

In fact, March 17th will have 12 hours and 49 seconds between sunrise and sunset where I live. The sun will be up for 12 hours, 9 minutes and 27 seconds on March 20th here. It varies with latitude, and even longitude as the sun travels north (at this time of year) over the course of a day. What is true is that the sun will cross the celestial equator from south to north (in the northern hemisphere) on March 20th. For a nice explanation see timeanddate.com.

Of course, from a weather perspective where I am Spring is marked by warmer days and melting snow and crocuses sprouting up. Truly the most certain sign that we're done with snow for the year (well, until Fall anyway) is when you see the crocuses valiantly blooming through a very late winter or early spring snowfall.

Today was a taste of spring here. We've had a few in the past few weeks, but we've been recovering from what will hopefully be the last cold of this winter, and so have been unable to luxuriate in the sunny warmth. Not today. Today we enjoyed the 50+F temperatures and sunshine.

We went for a walk. And after our walk Dee Dee and Little Dudely wanted to stay out. Pookie, not being much for the outdoors unless it involves swimming or someone pushing her in a swing or her jogger, decided to go in after our walk. That left me to straddle the indoors and the outdoors. And bake the cookies we decided to make today.

We dug out their bicycles and helmets so they could zoom around in the sun. They breezed through the air in the swings with only a fleece jacket. No winter parkas, no mittens, no hats. They created Stone Soup with bark mulch, rocks, lot of sand and melting snow. They whipped up Chicken Pot Papaya from leaf bits (mostly oak), twigs, some sand and a little snow from the remnants of the giant snow mound that obstructed their swings most of the winter. The feast was for Little Dudely's friend Cugabon - his birthday is tomorrow.

At 5p I thought about calling them in for dinner. Then I thought better of it. At 6p I thought about calling them in for dinner. But who am I to interrupt anyone savoring the outdoors? So dinner was sometime 6:30p, bathtime was kept short, and two tired kids went to bed right on time.

And that lovely story isn't exactly true. I came down with a second cold yesterday on the heels of my first one. So the walk was about all the reveling I could manage, and maybe a bit more than was wise. And Dee Dee is not yet alseep despite all the fresh air and fun. But her bedtime issues won't be adressed here and now. Regardless, after five months of bare trees and a landscape dominated by brown, grey, white and evergreen, with the occasional splash of blue sky, I am ready for Spring.

About

If I said "I woke up feeling a lot of angst about my project" would you think you needed to fix something? If I said "You told me my project has a lot of potential (and I agree with you), and now I'm feeling angst about it" would you think I was blaming you?


At the core of most communication difficulties is a basic confusion over who it's all about. I'll make things simple:
What is spoken is about the speaker.
What is heard is about the listener.
What is felt is about the feeler.

What we say and hear and feel is a reflection of our own internal state. The external world merely provides the stimulus that allows us to understand ourselves more clearly.

I think that the closer we are to our conversational partner, the harder it is to remember these distinctions. So the next time you feel a conversation going the wrong way, or negative emotions rise up within you, take a step back.

And if you just thought I meant physically take a step back, why don't you just shake it all about...? Do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself around, 'cause that's what it's all about. Really.

Bugglies

The dreaded bugglies attacked last weekend. There I was Embracing My Rant in an email to my coaching circle coach, bemoaning the feeling of being trapped by the circumstances of my life (read: my children). And, as usually happens when I Embrace My Rant, I discovered that my feeling of being trapped stemmed not from the circumstances of my life, but my thoughts about them. Specifically, my expectations of myself to be everything to everybody all the time, to make everything OK, were trapping me in my personal Pit of Despair.

Within hours of my rant, I was curled up on the couch feverish with aching joints. I gave up all ideas of what I was supposed to do beyond rest. No more being everything to everybody, I was in make-it-through-the-day mode. Dee Dee, Little Dudely and I watched The Princess Bride and ate grapes and pretzels for dinner. Pookie mucked about entertaining herself contentedly and requested cheese and banana bread for dinner. Worked for me.

Over the next few days I rediscovered the joys of music videos, computer solitaire and freecell, Sudoku (once my head cleared a bit) and generally doing nothing. Meals were basic, baths were by request only, no laundry was done, we went no where. Did I mention the 12" of snow that fell in there too? I rested as much as possible. Life went on.

Here's what I learned (or remembered):

• Never gamble. Even something as innocuous as Vegas-Solitaire is a sure way to lose lots of money fast.
  
• Solitaire is a wonderful nearly mindless game of mostly chance, but you're going to lose a lot.
• Freecell is always win-able making it a nice counterpart to Solitaire, but you better feel well enough to think at least a little bit.
• By the time you're well enough for hard and evil Sudoku you're pretty much through the worst of it.
• Music videos are as mezmerising as ever.
• There are a lot of videos I don't want my kids watching.
• Even ones I'll let them watch often take a lot of explaining.
• The Princess Bride is a great movie on many levels.
  
• Nothing bad happens when I drop all the "should"s in my life.
• There are a lot more "should"s in my life than I realized.
  
• Life is much easier when you stop pushing.
• My kids are awesome.
• My life is wonderful and only getting better.